Humor

Misc.

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!!"

A little boy was watching his new baby brother who was crying full force. "Where'd we get him, mom?" he asked. "From Heaven," the mother answered. The little boy wrinkled his nose and covered his ears with his hands and stated matter-of-factly, "This is probably why they didn't keep him there!"

A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. "He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any," she thought.

Then she heard his mother's reply. "No!" she said, looking in her direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!"

Two Blondes and a Row Boat A blonde driving down the road stops, gets out of her car and sees another blonde in a row boat in a field and actually trying to row the boat.
She yells at the blonde in the field "It is blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name." "And if I knew how to swim, I would swim out there and show you what I think of you".

There were two little old ladies driving home from church, when the passenger noticed the driver ran a red light. She thought that the driver was loosing it, but said nothing. Then she did it again and ran another red light, now she knew she was loosing it. And upon the third red light the driver ran, she spoke up.
"Are trying to kill us by running all of the red lights?"
The driver replied "Oh, am I driving"

The Archer

A king was riding his horse through his land and noticed on a tree an arrow in the middle of a target.

And the further he rode the more arrows he saw and in the middle of the targets on the trees.

This intrigued him; he wanted to meet who ever was such a great marksman with a bow and arrow.

After a while he found a young man whom seemed to be the archer.

He told the young man he counted over 100 targets with every arrow in the middle of every target.

He wanted to know how someone so young was so good with his bow and arrow to never miss and always hit dead middle of every target.

The young man said that is easy I shoot the arrow and then paint the target around it.