Humor:

 A Feathered Friend
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Why did the chicken cross the road? 
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. 
PLATO: For the greater good. 
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. 
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. 
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would
let it take. 
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. 
RONALD REAGAN: I forget. 
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before. 
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. 
ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was
faced with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen
Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage
in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting
helped the chicken change to become more successful. 
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
down. 
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question. 
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? 
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road. 
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
there was. 
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place, anyway? 
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. 
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" 
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads. 
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. 
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. 
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ....it
transcended it. 
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. 
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? 
Contributed by: Anonymous

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