You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee
refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because
none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when
they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor
says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys
and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of
deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the
church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It
ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known
as the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation
of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred
to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the
organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think
"rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool
is a #2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes
were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's
Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection
plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and
his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not
covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of
the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!!" Y'all Hear......
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