Wisdom

1. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
   


2. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
   


3. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
   


4. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark,
   professionals built the Titanic.
   


5. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
   


6. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
   


7. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
   there.
   


8. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be
   changed regularly and for the same reason.
   


9. An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this
   is true.
   


10. There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every
    year.
    


11. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
    


12. I am a nutritional overachiever.
    


13. I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
    


14. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
    


15. A day without sunshine is like night.
    


16. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
    you the questions.
    


17. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
    time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
    


18. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
    


19. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
    


20. Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.