Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray

against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined

times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and

three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato

salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix

the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to

tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor

of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own

journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.

You

are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light

bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of

light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,

long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to

luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull,

or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb,

turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned

for

Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men

review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?