Humor, Joke, family friendly

Misc.

Humor:

wwjd ( what would jesus do) backwords is djww devil just wont win, and 7 days with out prayer makes one weak,
Candice

One day a woman called a travel agent to ask how long it takes to fly to boston. the travel agent was new so she said just a minute. the woman said "ok" and hung up wondering how a plane could fly so fast.
Siyuan He

Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means -'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".

Teacher: "Spell 'WATER',"
Girl: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "That doesn't spell 'WATER',"
Girl: "Yes, it does. ... It's all the letters from 'H to O'."

A physics professor at a state university in Michigan was famous for his animated lectures. He was short and thin with wild white hair and an excited expression. In lecture he would through himself from the top of desks and throw frisbees to students in the back row to illustrate various principles.
One day in class he was spinning on an office chair holding weights in each hand when he lost his balance and tumbled into the first row. He apologized to his class for going off on a tangent.

Biff: What's the name of your ranch?

Cliff: The ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Ranch

Biff: How many head of cattle do you have?

Cliff: Not many

Biff: How come?

Cliff: Not many survive the branding.

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?"
"Elation."
"And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?"
"I believe that would be giddy up."

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