Humor:
Customer (CU): Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk (CL): Well, sir, that all depends.
CU: Depends on what?
CL: Actually, a lot of things.
CU: How about giving me an average price?
CL: Wow, that's too hard a question. The
lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have
150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
CU: What's the difference in the paint?
CL: Oh, there isn't any difference, it's all the
same paint.
CU: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
CL: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions.
When do you intend to use it?
CU: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
CL: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
CU: What? When would I have to paint in order
to get the $9 version?
CL: That would be in three weeks, but you will
also have to agree to start painting before
Friday of that week and continue painting
until at least Sunday.
CU: You've got to be kidding!
CL: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course I'll
have to check to see if we have any of that
paint available before I can sell it to you.
CU: What do you mean, check to see if you can
sell it to me? You have shelves full of the
stuff, I can see it right there.
CL: Just because you can see it doesn't mean
that we have it. It may be the same paint, but
we sell only a certain number of gallons on
any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the
price just went up to $12.
CU: You mean the price went up while we were
talking?
CL: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and
rules thousands of times a day, and since
you haven't actually walked out of the store
with your paint yet, we just decided to change.
Unless you want the same thing to happen
again, I would suggest that you get on with
your purchase. How many gallons do you
want?
CU: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons.
Maybe I should buy six gallons just to
make sure I have enough.
CL: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy
the paint and then don't use it, you will
be liable for penalties and possible
confiscation of the paint you already
have.
CU: What?
CL: That's right. We can sell you enough
paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall
and north bedroom, but if you stop painting
before you do the bedroom, you will be
in violation of our tariffs.
CU: But what does it matter to you whether I use
all the paint? I already paid for it!
CL: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's
just the way it is. We make plans based
upon the idea that you will use all the paint,
and when you don't, it just causes us all
sorts of problems.
CU: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible
will happen if I don't keep painting until after
Saturday night?
CL: Yes, sir, it will.
CU: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else
to buy my paint.
CL: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have
the same rules.
And thanks for painting with our airlines.
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