Humor:

Rev. Tony offers some real ads found in the classifieds:

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

-----------------------------------

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

----------------------------------

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

---------------------------------- AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

---------------------------------- SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

----------------------------------

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG

----------------------------------

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

----------------------------------

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

----------------------------------

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

----------------------------------

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

----------------------------------

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

----------------------------------

FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

----------------------------------

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.

----------------------------------

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED ***************
CALL CHUBBIE ***************

----------------------------------

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

----------------------------------

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

----------------------------------

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

----------------------------------

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

----------------------------------

GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

----------------------------------

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED

----------------------------------

AMERICAN FLAG
60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100

----------------------------------

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

----------------------------------

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.

----------------------------------

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

----------------------------------

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.

-----------------------------------

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

----------------------------------

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

----------------------------------

GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.

----------------------------------

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.