Recall Notice


Humor:

The Manufacturer of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary power component (heart). This is due to a willful malfunction in the original prototype units (code named Adam and Eve), resulting in the duplication of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Substandard Internal Non-morality," or more commonly referred to by its acronym, SIN.

Symptoms include [a] Loss of direction [b] Foul vocal emissions [c] Amnesia of origin [d] Lack of peace/joy [e] Selfish, or violent behavior [f] Depression/confusion in the mental component [g] Fearfulness [h] Idolatry [i] Rebellion

The Manufacturer, Who is neither at fault, nor liable for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE

procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with

[a] Love [b] Joy [c] Peace [d] Patience [e] Kindness [f] Goodness [g] Faithfulness [h] Gentleness [i] Self-control

Please see the operating manual (HOLY BIBLE) for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a resident Maintenance Technician (Holy Ghost). Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

The tithe is more than just giving 10% to a church, it is a way for God to have authority in your life over all that matters, your income, your growth, even relationships.


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