You Know You Are In Texas When...

Humor:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...

You can say 110 degrees without fainting...

You eat hot chili to cool your mouth off...

You can make sun tea instantly...

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one...

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets...

You actually burn your hand opening the car door...

Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter.

A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store...

Hot air balloons can't go up...

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear, "what if I get knocked out and lay on the pavement and cook to death"?

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The tithe is more than just giving 10% to a church, it is a way for God to have authority in your life over all that matters, your income, your growth, even relationships.