Computer Terms

Humor:

Users. Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.

Novice Users.
People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.

Intermediate Users.
People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.

Expert Users.
People who break other people's computers.

Beta.
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."

Programmers.
Computer avengers. Once members of that group of high school nerds who wore tape on their glasses, played Dungeons and Dragons, and memorized Star Trek episodes; now millionaires who create "user-friendly" software to get revenge on whoever gave them noogies.

Default Directory.
Black hole. Default directory is where all files that you need disappear to.

Error message.
Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program's shortcomings.

File.
A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name (It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet--except when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.).

Help.
The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning anything.

The tithe is more than just giving 10% to a church, it is a way for God to have authority in your life over all that matters, your income, your growth, even relationships.