You Too Can Learn From Hollywood

Humor:

Daily wisdom . . Pick your favorites

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. The same holds true for the women folk!

3. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

4. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

5. My Reality Check bounced.

6. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

7. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

8. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

9. Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.

10. Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

11. Stupidity got us into this mess-why can't it get us out?

12. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

13. I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

14. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

15. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

16. I don't get even, I get odder.

17. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

18. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

19. Dijon vu-the same mustard as before.

20. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

21. I am having an out of money experience.

22. Not afraid of heights-afraid of widths.

23. A day without sunshine is like night.

24. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

25. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have inlaws.

26. There's no need to fear falling -- it's the sudden stop at the bottom that warrants the fear.

27. Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.

The tithe is more than just giving 10% to a church, it is a way for God to have authority in your life over all that matters, your income, your growth, even relationships.