13. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had suffered a massive my ocardial infarct. Not more that five minuteslater, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had suffered a "massive internal fart."

14. I was performing a complete physical, including thevisual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

15. A nurse caring for a woman from Tennessee asked,"So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's verygood, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem toget used to the taste," the patient replied. Thenurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produceda foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

16. An Internal Revenue inspector walks into a synagogue and asks to see the rabbi. He is shown to the rabbi's office and is offered a seat. "Rabbi, I believe a member of your synagogue, Mr. Klutz, states on his tax return that he has donated $100,000 to the synagogue. Tell me, Rabbi, is this correct?" The Rabbi answers, "Yes, he will."

17. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue.

18. Pig In Summer
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot  :         summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!
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