Here are a few examples of our jokes:
1. Blonde to a darker haired friend, "I'm trying to count to 5 and I can't remember what comes after 7."
Friend, "If you're just counting to 5, nothing comes after 7."
Blonde, "Gee, I thought for sure you'd know!"
2. My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said.
Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
3. Simple truths about children:
A small child is someone who can wash his hands without getting the soap wet.
Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
Almost every child would learn to write sooner if allowed to do his homework on wet cement.
Tough Old Texan
A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103.
When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great
grandchildren, 25 great-great grand children, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.