Before you read this study understand that we do not teach, we share and then ask all who read the following take it to God and verify it with Him. We believe a lot of the world is misled by the church of the world and religion vs the one true church. And to know the truth can only come from knowing, not just knowing of God, John 14:26, I John 2:27, Rev 3:19-22.
Many are called but few are chosen because many are misled by false teachers Matthew 7:13-15 so we help all who wants to know the truth how to find and know the truth of and by God and not of and by man.



Growing Apart

Pastor J. R. Wilhite, author   Close Window

In most cases where a couple grows apart it is due to lack of time spent together. One or the other or both get so caught up in their career or work they do not spend the time with the other any more. In time they have grown apart and think it is time to divorce. No, it is not.

It is time to take time to spend with each other to re-kindle the relationship they once had.

I get more email from both men and women about relationship problems than any thing else.

Almost every time, at least 99 out of 100 the reason is the same, "We do not get along any more" or "We have grown apart."

What is sad is that most of the time children are involved and they are the ones who get hurt because their parents can not work it out.

Some of you may think I am being hard on couples who split up. I don't, because they chose to marry. The comitment is something both sides have to work on all the time, not one side only and not just once in a blue moon.

In the 50's we had very a low percentage of divorces statistically speaking. By the 70's it had skyrocketed and in the 90's it became high because a person had married and divorced 2 or more times.

We had allowed it to become too easy to divorce and we allowed it to become acceptable.

People discovered it was easier to walk away and try again than try and make the first one work.

Yes, there are times a divorce should happen, like in an abusive marriage or where there is adultery or additions.

Not all divorces involve these problems and some that do could be prevented by comunicating with each other on a regular basis.

Some people get distant and then start imagining the worse of their spouse. Maybe this is part of why Paul said cast down all vain imaginations.

Let's see some of the things that cause us to grow apart.

The above are the main ones that can cause a marriage to grow apart.

Work, too much, too many hours, too many days, not enough time to spend with both wife and job.

Sex here is one I have heard a few times, the couple is in their 40's or 50's and have been together a while and start going from once a week, to once every 2 weeks, to once a month, once a qtr and you know from there where it goes. Now if it is both sides and they are clear about it then ok, but if one side is wanting and the other does not, well, some people are just human. No I am not advocating sex outside of the marriage. I am saying, talk about it and work something out before that happens.

Career can be one of the biggest killers of a marriage, it does not matter if it is both or just one. But when the career comes first there goes the marriage.

Hobbies - this more because of the men than women. Men, golf, fishing, cards, toys and so on are ok, as long as they are not taking all your free time and leaving your wife alone.

Comunication - the number 1 killer of marriages. We need to talk daily, but if not, we should set a time each week to sit and just talk about everything as well as our feelings. The less you talk, the sooner you will fall apart. The best thing is to set aside about 30 minutes after dinner to sit in a swing or porch seats and talk.

Addictions, alcohol, drugs even cigarettes can cause a problem. With the Internet we now have pornography growing at alarming rates. I recomend all spouses to spend some time with their spouse on line to see what is going on. No matter what, remember these are illnesses and should be treated as such.

Life style changes come when one or the other has extra money and starts changing their appearance, or what they enjoy, instead of sitting watching a sunset they start going to a bar for a drink. You need to watch for these, but to prevent them, start talking, and if you have grown apart, start talking.

It is better for you, the children and your spouse to make this marriage work instead of walking away and trying it again. Most likely you will have another failed marriage until you address what is the real problem, honesty, comunications, openness, and trusting.

I hope this helps some of you out there.

God Bless You as you hear His words and follow His leading.




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